OXFORD: WELCOME TO ENGLAND

I may not be living in Oxford, England, but that does not mean I did not have an amazing vacation for the two weeks I was there. We left the Maritimes on Wednesday afternoon, stopping over in Toronto before flying through the night towards London.

By the time we arrived it was 8:30am London time, which meant we felt as though it were only 4:30am! Needless to say, we needed coffee! We quickly located a cafe in the airport and enjoyed pastries and caffeine before heading out into the (rare) sunshine.

We then had to find the bus station and travel for over an hour in order to get to Oxford. We then had to get a cab and once we climbed into the car, we thought we were headed towards our vacation home. What we did not know is that there are many streets in Oxford with the same name, so you distinguish them by road, avenue, etc. So when we said Henley St, we failed to realize we meant Henley Rd. We were dropped off on a street of row homes, in front of a real fixer upper that we thought we had to spend the next week in. Thankfully, after a gas guy called another taxi we headed just outside the city and found Henley Rd, a beautiful and quaint place. Thankfully, our real vacation home was beautiful.

Unfortunately, we did not get any photos of our home, but this is the view from my window that shows Henley Rd and just how adorable it is. For the rest of the day we rested and tried to figure out the bus stops. Of course, we had not gotten any groceries, but the owner of the home had suggested we walk to this place called The Kings Arm. That night we had fish and chips, I tried (and loved) mushy peas, and we found our favorite Oxford restaurant. 

I already felt as though I wanted to go home, but looking back it was a great way to start our two week English adventure.

xo: kate

ANOTHER FORK IN THE ROAD

It has been a long time since I've updated on this blog and I'm sure many of you have noticed my absence. On September 5th I officially made it to Oxford, England and that's when everything changed.

As soon as we arrived I no longer felt excited, no longer felt hopeful or that sense of adventure that had so long been building inside of me. For a while, I tried to ignore it, but it did not take long to surface. I explored my emotions for a few days, wondering why I was feeling so down and chalked it up to nerves, but as the days went on I knew that wasn't the case. There were many days spent trying to fall in love with the city and many nights spent crying over the disappointment of Oxford not being what I thought it would be, but in the end I knew a decision had to be made. Unfortunately, it was another decision I had to make completely on my own.

I wavered back and forth, some days thinking I would return home and others thinking I would stick it out for at least a semester. Thankfully, a very wonderful friend suggested I go check out my school campus and my dorm room in hopes that it would help me come to a conclusion. Well, it did. After walking well outside the city center and coming to a not so wonderful looking campus, I was slowly wanting to return to St. Thomas. It wasn't until a taxi driver took us to my dorm that I was truly scared. In a locked gate, across from a stone wall, covered in barbed wire, was my residence. Located in a horrible neighborhood, I was standing in front of a building that was costing me more than I could ever afford.

That night, I decided to come home.

Over the past week I have had people tell me their opinions, some supportive and others quite the opposite, but regardless I know that this is my decision. I made the decision to move here and once again I am deciding to come home. I know that now, spending so much money and not loving this city, I would be miserable. Many have asked whether I want to try a semester, but if I hate it I have spent so much money and gotten no farther in school. There are so many options and in my mind all I want is to be happy.

Then comes the idea of regret. I may get home and wish I was in England, but I know in my heart that now is not the right time. This decision, by no means, has closed the door to me living over here, I have simply walked away for the time being. 

Returning home is quite scary for me. I realize there will be people ready to give hugs, comforting words and the support I need to move on. Others will believe I have done this for all the wrong reasons and hold anger or disappointment in their hearts. While I cannot control what other people say or think, what I can control is how I feel and today it is content. I feel at ease about my decision and if I begin to regret leaving England, I know it is only a few years until I can return. That is the wonderful thing about time, it keeps going on. 

So this is the road I have chosen. I believe the last eighteen months have been a learning experience with lessons that I will take with me as I move on in the future. I am a happier, more confident girl who is ready to take on more adventure and let life take me where it may. At the end of the day, I have to be able to look at myself and be happy with who I see. I have no one else to please, but me.

As far as the future goes? I will be returning home to continue my degree at St. Thomas. Between my Creative Writing major there, taking Marketing classes at UNB and Social Media courses online through UBC, I will graduate (hopefully!) in July 2015. From there, the world is mine! I would love to obtain an internship in either England, New York or California and let life take its course. This dream of England has been put on hold, but I can assure you all it is far from over.

xo: kate

GET READY, GET SET...GO?

(disneyskickinit.wikia.com)

There are no more days left...just hours. Hours until I zip up my (currently not packed) suitcases, hours until I leave the only home I've ever known and hours until I embark on the newest chapter of my life. It took fifteen years of dreaming and eighteen months of preparation, but it's here. I'm moving to England.

If you ask me how I'm feeling you will get a few different answers. Of course, I'm thrilled. This is the biggest dream I've ever had and it is going to be the most wonderful few years of my life. At the same time, I have had a horrible time saying goodbye to my friends and family. They are everything to me and I am choosing to do this all on my own. My final feeling is nerves. I am so nervous to be taking such a huge leap into an unknown world, but I know God has gone ahead of me and has it all planned out. That has proved true every step of the way. Still, one can't help but be nervous about all of the responsibilities and decisions I will now be making. It is a leap of faith, but one I am making with a huge smile on my face.

Tonight my house already feels different as my sister and the boy have already moved to their new home. So, I am missing the noise of a little one and the comfort of my best friend sitting across from me. Still, I will miss the sounds of my mom working in the kitchen and the conversations our family has during dinner. It was always those small moments that meant the most to me. This house has been my safe place, my healing place and the place where I was allowed to grow, discover and learn exactly who I am. I know that it will remain just that, forever: a place where I can return when I need healing or rest. No matter where I live, this will be home.

I hope that this chapter is one of adventure, of discovery and of happiness. I want to be challenged, to take chances and to live out every possible dream I have. I was given such a blessed life and there is no way I am going to waste a second of it.

Everything is done and in place, the prayers are being said, the hugs have been given...

the only thing left to do is fly.

xo: kate